Romance Style of the Leader

Romance Style of the Leader

Tips for Leader Striving Style on Valentine's Day: Loosen up, lighten up, and let go of control. You don’t always have to do things your way, even though you believe it is the “right” way to do things. Let your lover take charge on this occasion. Try to resist the impulse to have everything under control as a way of managing your anxiety. Learn to trust your partner – they are more competent than you like to believe.

LEADER: STRIVING TO BE IN CONTROL

Leaders are “Masters of their Universe,” taking control of their destiny and everything in it. Responsible, authoritarian and conscientious, they show us the way and expect us to follow. They believe they know what is right for everyone and will tell us the way it ought to be.    

Leader Style people have a predominant need to be in Control. It doesn’t take long for you to recognize this Striving Style, as they confidently let you know what you should be doing and why. These assertive and decisive individuals seem to go through life defining their environment and everyone in it. Easily the most dominant and powerful of all of the Styles, they know what they want and go after it with a sense of satisfaction. They approach everything they do as though they were born to be in charge and expect others to follow their lead.

Your Approach to Valentine’s Day: You approach Valentine’s Day the same way you do everything else. Confident, assertive, and decisive. You know what to do and you make it happen. You make dinner reservations and buy a card and gift well in advance, making sure your mate has the date and details of the evening in their calendar. You believe you know what should be done and what your partner should like and set about to create the event. You generally follow long-standing traditions for love and romance and seek to show your lover (and everyone else) the right way to do things. If following the tradition of Valentine’s Day makes you feel out of control, you may abstain from it all together. After all, you can always work.

Potential Pitfalls: Unfortunately, not everyone wants to celebrate Valentine’s Day the same way you do. Surprising as that might be to you, it’s true. When your lover doesn’t want to do it your way, you can become confrontational and domineering, sometimes to the point of being hostile and attacking. Your lover will then go along with you, but they can be seething with resentment. You may even blame your partner for being selfish and taking the fun out of things for you. When all else fails, you can avoid any emotional unpleasantness by staying longer at work and avoiding your partner altogether. This isn’t recommended as you only make them feel unimportant so you can stay in control.

Tips for Leaders: Loosen up, lighten up, and let go of control. You don’t always have to do things your way, even though you believe it is the “right” way to do things. Let your heart rule your head for a change and soften your approach to the day. Try to resist the impulse to have everything under control as a way of managing your anxiety. Learn to trust your partner – they are more competent than you like to believe. And at the end of the evening, resist the impulse to critique and talk about how you would have done it better. You will feel back in control, but you will undermine your relationship.